Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Straight Jackets for Your Chickens

 It was her or me and I wasn't going down with out a fight!

Chickens are stupid. Yes, I said it and if you have ever had chickens you know it is true. Don't get me wrong, I love having chickens,they are tasty. Plus they're also fun to watch, have cute babies, eat the bugs and ticks and make fertilizer.That chicken poop can grow some big tomatoes! But they are still some of the dumbest critters The Good Lord ever made. In my experience if  they start a bad habit to get them to stop it is difficult. Sometimes penning them up so they can not do their bad habit for a few days will erase it from their tiny chicken brains, sometimes not.  You all may be sensing a story here and you all would be right. Sadly, this is a true story.
I have this one very pretty little hen, she is a black and white bannie with a little bit of Polish chicken thrown in the mix. Basically a bannie with a top knot! She decided she would fly over the fence ever day upon leaving the coop into Mr.Tumnus' yard and stay there despite me clipping her wing. So I started leaving her in there a night with another wild chicken. Now, if this had been before the Great Coon Thinning of the last Spring they would have been a midnight buffet the first night. Well ...they have been roosting out there all summer and fall till a few nights ago and I woke up to chicken screams for help..yes,chickens sound like they are screaming "Help" when something starts eating on them and I can't say that I blame them for it either! Anyways,I jump out of bed and wake a very confused Hubby and 2 middle age people  bumble around like Stooges looking for shoes and shot guns! It turns out not to be a coon but an owl and it has gotten the wild chicken. Of course we just watched the owl fly away.  Now I am particularly fond of the surviving hen despite her above average chicken dumbness. Mainly because she is unique and pretty. So every evening I have been lumbering my middleage, out of shape..joints a poppin',  asthmatic self out there and catch up Little Miss Dumb-Dumb and put her in the coop where first thing the next morning she walks right over the scratch I throw out and to the fence and flies her clipped wing self right over. You would thing that seeing her friend as a late night snack for an owl would have made her want to avoid that area all together. I will say it again...Chickens are stupid. Well...the first night or two she was easy to catch ...after that Little Miss Dumb-Dumb wised up. I know,surprising!  Last night after a hearty game of round and round the goat pen I had had it! Wheezing, out of breath and joints a poppin' I called The Boy to come and help me. When I got my hands on Little Miss Dumb-Dumb I carried her to the shed and got some of that blue painters tape that comes off easy and taped her one wing to her chest! Yes,you heard me! I taped my chickens wing to her chest! But by golly, I had had enough and desperate  times call for desperate measures! The Boy thought it was hilarious, making comments like,"You Might be a Redneck if you make a straight jacket for your chicken out of duct tape!""
 
But you know what? Little Miss Dumb-Dumb is still in the chicken yard! Who's smarter now!!!!

 Yes I did it ! I made a crazy chicken straight jacket out of tape and I am not ashamed!!!! I will take her straight jacket off in a few days if it does not fall off on its own.

No chickens were harmed in the making of this story..well..except the one eaten by the owl.




28 comments:

Chris said...

LOL. Chicken straight jackets out of duct tape. You'll be giving Tex a run for her money now. :-)

Chicken straight jackets out of tape...

dr momi said...

...Chickens scream "Help" when something starts eating on them"....oh my goodness I'm going to be laughing on this all night LOL!
Good thing you have a picture of the duct tape straight jacket or I'm sure I wouldn't believe it!

GreyWolf said...

What next... ball and chains? LOL
I think you may have come up with a great idea there. I have hens that can fly into the goat pen, buy forget how to fly out.

Pricilla said...

I agree they are the stupidest birds ever.

I am thinking that red or green would have been more fittin' for the season.

LindaG said...

Haha. Your description of you sounds like me. ;-)

I would suggest letting it fall off. If that is the kind of blue painters tape I bought for painting the bathroom, the longer it stays on, the better it sticks.

It definitely does NOT work like they say.

If nothing else it will come off when she molts! :-)

TexWisGirl said...

well, you are trying to save her life! she's probably not at all happy about it, though! :)

Jill said...

Very funny!!! You are pretty clever if you ask me.

She IS a pretty girl!

rox said...

Lol , I love this post Melodie !!
and
YES YES YES chickens are stupid .
the only people I have ever met who are offended by us saying such a thing are people who do not know chickens !
it does not mean they are less than , bad birds but it does mean they often need the intervention of their caretakers .
Oh this was such a great laugh a great peice for your laughing duck farm ;-)
you must be part Canadian being so handy with that duct tape lol

Lin said...

Now THAT is hilarious and totally something I would do. Stupid chicken.

Humble wife said...

Ok- I have never taped the hens but I am inspired...especially as it makes for one snappy bird!

Thanks for the chuckle.

Jennifer

Teresa said...

She is a pretty little thing! If you think chickens are dumb, try peafowl. :-)

wayside wanderer said...

Hahaha! You showed HER! I love it. And she is very pretty. I imagine she needs to be. =D

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

I am fully aware of chicken round ups. They ARE dumb! They can drive you batty chasing them around the yard. I had some very angry moments last summer during one of our raccoon rampage months. Trying to round up chickens is no fun. Duct taped wings is genius.

Christine said...

Well if that doesn't qualify as Yankee ingenuity I don't know what does!

in the coop said...

This is the first time I have been to your blog, and I will be back. This story is hilarious! The redneck comment sent me over the edge into tears.

Foothills Poultry said...

LOL!!! That is the funniest getup I have every seen.

I have had to clip a wing of a Dutch hen all the way down. Primaries wasn't enough so I had to go all the way across. The key with clipping is to just do one wing. Most times it throws them off balance enough. Then again there are those that are just too "smart" for their own good and they adapt.

~~Matt~~

Nancy @ A Rural Journal said...

Hey, better taped wings than no wings, or head or... been there a few times, Melodie. I salute your ingenuity. :)

debbie bailey said...

That is hilarious! You're right. Chickens ARE stupid. Have you ever had one get a death wish and stick its nose in a corner and stay there until it died? I've had several do that. If you have any insight into that crazy situation, please let me know.

Doc said...

This story about made an old man pee himself laughing. I think she looks great in blue!

Michaele said...

I think you two are of the same flock. One just as determined as the next. Great story and great idea! I have one that flys to the barn loft and then crosses over to be with the goats whom she prefers over chickens. I just hate it that she roosts and poops in their hay feeder. Gotta get me some nice blue duck tape. And you need to publish this somewhere besides your blog : )

Jim said...

This is hilarious!!! You got to do what you got to do!
At first I thought that chicken had a beautiful blue colour! Poor thing! lol

Lap Dog Knits said...

Love the story...duck tape!
I've always wanted to keep chickens, but so far...at this time in my life..I'm still wanting and waiting.

Always enjoy your blog, have a wonderful weekend

Tree Hugger - Suzan said...

This is way to funny! Instead of duck tape- the new name should be chicken tape!! Repackage the tape with the verbage --- NEW and IMPROVED for CHICKENS -- and make millions.

Sharon said...

Very funny!

Saun said...

ROTFL good story. Merry Christmas...Saun

Modern Day Redneck said...

There ain't nothing wrong with duct taping your chicken.

I wanted to say thanks for coming by Modern Day Redneck and becoming a family member. I love your blog and hit the join button on yours as well. I am giving you a nice little Howdy post to promote your blog and to say welcome.
Thanks Again,
MDR

Rose said...

Chickens are dumb! I had one brooding for a week, but has now decided she wants to try another corner of the barn floor to brood.

Pam said...

Merry Christmas Melodie! Congrats on your new business! Hugs!